Shock!

If I hadn't done this blog- the watching 365 vampire movies this year- I would have done another project that I'd been toying with- viewing all the movies in the Shock Theater and Son of Shock syndication packages.

These were the classic Universal Horror films collected for television, where many horror fans were first introduced to the movies and stars like Lugosi, Karloff and Chaney, creating enough interest in the genre that Forrest J Ackerman was able to start up his magazine Famous Monsters of Filmland.

Fifty-two movies in the initial package, twenty more in Son of Shock. Seventy-two films, not all readily available but I'm sure findable by the end of the year.

But there's no need for me to do it- aside from "it's there!"- since someone is already doing it here.

Now I've got another blog archive to read!

The Damned

Um.

The Damned. Insert snarky comment here.

Three friends living in a barrio in Oakland realize their new neighbors are vampires. It's like Fright Night. In the hood.

You know when Todd Bridges is listed in the credits first that you're in for something... unique.

And by unique I mean piece of crap in it's own special way.

Bad acting. Bad sets. Awful "punk rock" soundtrack.

I don't know anyone I hate enough to try and get them to watch this movie.

Dracula's Widow

Tonight's movie was Dracula's Widow.

Now, I'm just pretty much working my way through netflix on demand.

It's directed by Christopher Coppola, and I figured that last name was pretty much what got this thing green-lit.

Lenny Von Dohlen plays Raymond, a creepy fellow who owns a wax museum- and lives above it. He's preparing a Dracula exhibit and is importing antiques from Romania as props. With his five boxes of stuff comes a sixth- carrying Vanessa, played by Sylvia Kristel- famous from the softcore Emmanuelle films.

I'm sure she brought something to the table in those considering the cult following they've developed, but I'm not seeing much in the acting skills department.

The most fun I had while watching this was trying to get some idea of what the filming location of Wilmington, North Carolina looks like in real life. We nearly went there once but the drive down Route 17 was killing us- miles and miles of nothing; we detoured westward to Raleigh and sanity.

The Rondos

I voted today in the Rondo Hatton Classic Horror Awards today, mostly out of nerdish glee, but partially out of local pride.

Several of the nominees are from my hometown area:

Book of the Year nominee Forry: The Life of Forrest J Ackerman by Debbie Painter- I enjoyed her Ackerman presentation on Ackerman at last year's Monsterfest;
Best Magazine nominee Scary Monsters has several writers from the area;
Best Convention nominee Monsterfest from Chesapeake; and
Horror Host nominee Doctor Madblood.

Vampyres aka Daughters of Darkness

Somewhere, someone realized that they could get away with making softcore porn if they had more scenes in the movie that didn't involve sex. In Vampyres, there's at least two girl-girl scenes and two guy-girl scenes and a guy-girl-girl three way, all fairly explicit for a R-Rated 1973 movie.

There's sort of a plot- the ladies of the girl-girl relationship are vampires. They feed on unwary travelers they lure into their home- which happens to be the same house as the Frankenstein Place in the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

There's a husband and wife on holiday who have parked their trailer across from the house and they're watching the goings on with curiosity.

Of course they are.

Since everything is naturally classier with a British accent- the sets are pretty good as well- I'm sure the gentlemen in trenchcoats in the movie theaters of Times Square felt they were watching something sophisticated.

And by sophisticated, I mean kind of sleazy.

(image snagged from classic-horror.com)

Kolchak: The Night Stalker

Wow.

First off, a special thanks to Rob Floyd and Jim Blanton of Fantasmo Cult Cinema, the two fellows who were responsible for tonight's movie, Kolchak: The Night Stalker. They're awesome, bringing cult movies- horror, sci-fi, adventure and just plain weird (Can't Stop The Music)- to audiences once a month at the Chesapeake Public Library main branch in Chesapeake, Virginia.

I've been watching these movies on a small screen, it was nice to see it on something impressive- the library has a video projector set up to watch movies on a screen roughly the size of a small screen in a mall two-plex circa 1985.

So, the movie- Kolchak: The Night Stalker. A vampire is loose in Las Vegas and Carl Kokchak, a rumpled and discredited reporter trying to find the big story that will put him on the map again, played by Darrin McGavin, is the only one who realizes that the killings aren't the work of a psychopath, but of an actual monster.

It's a made for television movie that works well as a feature, there's a... texture to it- it's not too polished; kind of stark sometimes in that early seventies tv kind of way.

This might have something to do with McGavin's Kolchak, in his rumpled seersucker suit and battered panama hat, in the frame most of the time, barring the vampire attacks, giving a seediness to the story. Coupled with his voice overs in a prose style not too dis-similar to a tabloid muckraker, you've got a great portrait of someone who's regularly exposed to the less respectable side of things.

And in early seventies Las Vegas, there's plenty of that- the sheriff, the DA, and the police chief will do what ever it takes to suppress anything that might damage the tourist industry.

Richard Matheson's script brings television vampires out of the gothic context and into the modern era, setting the stage for the sequel The Night Strangler and the tv show Kolchak: The Night Stalker, but laying the ground work for Chris Carter's The X-Files (there's a character named after Matheson, a senator who supports the work of Agent Mulder and Darren McGavin plays a retired FBI agent who had investigated some odd cases on his own.)

Even though The Night Strangler wasn't a vampire movie, it does have ties to the genre (besides being a sequel)- Al Lewis - Grandpa Munster- plays a homeless person living in the underground Seattle, while John Carridine - Dracula in Universal's Houses of Frankenstein and Dracula- played Kolchak's publisher.

The television series had an episode related to the movie as well- in the episode The Vampire, October 4, 1974, one of the victims of the vampire from the movie travels to Los Angeles working as a vampire call girl.

Ganja & Hess

Ganja & Hess is one of those movies that I've seen on lists of influential films, but didn't know that much about; when I saw that netflix said it was a Vampire movie, I added it to my list.

When I saw that it was starring Duane Jones, from Night of the Living Dead, as Dr Hess Green, an anthropologist who becomes a vampire after being stabbed with a cursed knife by his crazy assistant, I was really excited to see it.

The crazy assistant kills himself, and Hess, after recovering from the stabbing, laps up the assistants blood from the floor like a cat drinking spilled milk.

He resorts to stealing blood from clinics and killing prostitutes to survive when his assistant's wife, Ganja, shows up.

OF COURSE they fall in love- even after she discovers her husbands body in Hess's basement. "Every body's some kind of freak," she says, true to the early seventies tone of the movie.

Ganja & Hess is an odd movie. Apparently the producers we looking for another Blacula and what they got was a trippy, hypnotic thing, like David Lynch doing an Blaxplotation film. David Lynch like the crazy parts of Mulholland Dr., as opposed to the slightly more accessible Lynch of Wild at Heart or Blue Velvet.

As far as vampire movies go, Ganja & Hess is unique and not for everybody- but if you're a serious fan of the genre and tired of the cliches you need to watch this movie.

Post script: I've been thinking about how visually explicit this movie gets toward the end. So I'm adding this bit to let readers know- it's not for kids. If you've come to the genre from, oh, say... Twilight or Van Helsing, you might not like this movie. If the Hunger was more your cup of tea, then you're set.

Count Dracula

So, I'm watching a version of Dracula from the BBC- Count Dracula starring Louis Jourdan as the Count, and it's refreshing to hear a Jonathan Harker that speaks with a British accent that's not annoyingly fake (yes, Keanu, I'm looking at you.)

It's BBC from 1977, not the Doctor Who BBC from 1977 but the I, Claudius BBC in terms of production values, even with the occasional special effect.

As a miniseries, it's a little longer than a feature, clocking in at two and a half hours. But it's time well spent.

Top notch cast, led by Jourdan who's even more sauve than Duncan Regehr, but manages to radiate menace every second he's on the screen. The rest of the cast is very BBC, meaning they're probably classically trained stage actors. As such, there's a stage play feel to the piece, the sets giving each scene a chamber piece feel, each room decorated in period style but awarkwardly lit so the fall of the shadows give it a slightly off feel.

One scene they did go all out for was the churchyard and cemetery overlooking the sea, like in the book it was filmed in Whitby- as was the Doctor Who episode The Curse of Fenric.

And the costumes- it was like a Merchant/Ivory movie.

Since it is so long, it moves at its own pace, slower than other productions, but they've been able to stick closer to the original novel than most productions. The BBC's Count Dracula is definitely required viewing from any vampire fan.

The Monster Squad

One fun thing about the classic Universal Horror movies was the fact that Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman crossed paths several times. These crossovers faded away to be the thing of Late-Late Shows while the Hammer Studios versions of the monsters took their place in technicolor glory, never crossing over the film series.

In 1987, The Monster Squad got the band back together.

The title refers to a group of kids, horror movie fans living in Anytown, USA. They're a band of misfits, oddballs obsessed with the macabre.

Into Anytown comes the monsters the kids venerate- Dracula, leading the Wolfman, Frankenstein's Monster, The Mummy and The Creature- seeking an amulet that can bring about the End of The World. They wish to do this because they're EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of course.

The Monster Squad is an eighties-infused love letter to the Universal movies, the best example of this is Frankenstein's Monster; played by Tom Noonan (the Tooth Fairy killer from Manhunter), he brings a sense of pathos to the film with his interaction with the youngest of the Monster Squad, five year old Phoebe.

But this blog isn't interested in Frankenstein movies... it's Dracula's project and he totally steals the show. He's suave- rockin' that tuxedo. And classy- he's got a snazzy wolfheaded cane (the ears of the wolf detach and he hooks them to Frankenstein's Monster's electrodes to jump start the monster from a lightning bolt.) And thoroughly, thoroughly evil- he calls little Phoebe a bitch! Never mind trying to bring about the end of the world.

The fact that he's played by Duncan Regehr, who'd later play the dashing Don Diego la Vega in tv's Zorro, makes him probably one of the sexier Draculas.
The Monster Squad is one of those rare blends of horror and comedy where there's actually a sense of menace from the monsters, while the children's antics in the face of the horror are pretty funny (two of the high points: burning Dracula's face with a piece of garlic pizza and disabling the Wolfman with a kick to the groin ("Wolfman's got nards!"). And I won't even begin to try and describe the wonder and glory that is the Creature from the Black Lagoon in every sense of the concept but makeup- changed sufficently that The Creature wasn't a copyright infringement but a homage.

The Monster Squad is some of the best eighty-two minutes I've spent during this project- it was a fun film back in 1987, and it's a terrific film twenty-four years later.

Bloodletting

No movie tonight. I have a couple of posts I have to polish before hitting the "publish" button, but I did come across this fun video.
Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde was considered a bit of a party song in my "wear too much black" phase- it still holds up pretty well.

In Search of Dracula

Once upon a time, they actually showed documentaries in the movie theaters. And not just those NPR-esque things about the environment or electric cars that play at the local indy theatre, but stuff like The Man Who Saw Tomorrow, about Nostrodamus, In Search of Noah's Ark, and tonight's movie In Search of Dracula.

Now, I know a lot of viewer would roll their eyes at the idea of a feature length Dracula documentary, especially in the era of the non-fiction television, like The History Channel or The Discovery Channel, where they go over the subject matter every October.

In Search of Dracula has a couple of cool things going for it that make it stand out.

First is the fact that it's narrated by Christopher Lee, who even plays Dracula in footage about the Count's life, playing it so seriously that he grew a mustache so that he looked like the famous portrait of Vlad Tepes. In a way, it's like an extra Hammer Dracula.

Then there's the subject matter, taken from the book of the same name by Raymond McNally and Radu Florescu; these guys did their research wonderfully, presenting the history in a readable manner.

The movie does get bogged down toward the end with footage of Theda Bara- because she's a "vamp"- and clips from Nosferatu.

Really though, even though I've read the book and knew all the stories they related in the movie, it was still a treat to listen to Christopher Lee narrate- he's got a voice that could make reading the phone book compelling. (Another subtle treat is the score- they used a piece by Krzysztof Penderecki that sounds... familiar. It wasn't until I looked at the Internet Movie Data Base did I know that it was later used in Stanley Kubrick's The Shining).

Kiss of the Vampire

After watching Kiss of the Vampire tonight, I'm ready for an a-list movie, at least a b-list one.

The flaw in the movie is it's overly ambitious. There's a vampire in love with a woman who want's to be cured of his condition; fortunately, her father is a biochemist working with an organization working toward immortality who will stop at nothing for their goal (oh, and the organization? The Illuminati); the vampire's "family" aren't as socialized as he is and they've attracted the attention of the police who bring in a vampire-killer.

All of this in just over an hour and a half.

The acting isn't bad, it's just... let's say "soap opera" caliber.

They do manage to tie all the threads together, so that's a plus.

Worth watching after you've gone through everything else.

AH-HA! moment watching the credits- This movie was filmed in Hamilton, Ohio. On some level, that explains a lot.

Vampires Anonymous

You know, sometimes, there are movies that are just... there.

Not bad, not especially good either. Just sort of there...

Vampires Anonymous is like that.

It's... kind of funny. But just kind of.

Hip city vampire goes in to a twelve step program and is relocated to a rural town. He even adjusts his diet to sheep. Hilarity ensues.

There's a body count, but not a BAD body count, since it's kind of a comedy.

It's got production values. A score. Real actors. And relative to some other films I've seen recently (Night of the Lepus) pretty good effects.

But that's it. I don't miss the ninety minutes spent watching it... it was like eating a hamburger when you've got fillet mignon in the oven. It could have been worse, though.

Gothic Vampires from Hell

Talk about truth in advertising.

Ok, Gothic Vampire From Hell wasn't that bad... if you realize that it's an excuse to make music videos, which makes sense the second the opening credits start with Cleopatra Records, a major goth label way back when.

Take it at that, it's the perfect background piece for a nightclub or a party.

Gotham Records is running a battle of the bands, in an attempt to find the one person to become the master vampire who will lead the vampires to supremacy.

Really.

Anastasia, head of the record company think's it's Draven, lead sing of the titular band.

And if I were still wearing too much black and smoking cloves, I'd have found this entertaining.

but...

I'm not, so it was just sort of amusing. I'm glad I watched it, if only to have a post tonight and to take it off my queue.

Pale Blood

You know how sometimes you can tell all you need to know about a movie from its poster?

Yeah, Pale Blood is like that.

George Chakiris plays Michael Fury, a vampire who's come to Los Angeles to track down a serial killer who thinks he's a vampire. He's got an assistant who's fixated on vampires, but who's smart enough to figure out what he is.

She's not smart enough to properly watch tv, though. She's watching Nosferatu, including the part where Orlock fades away in sunlight (yay! public domain movies) on televsion when Fury comes over to check on her investigation. She gives him the report and then says "Why don't you stay and watch some of this movies with me?". He declines because... well, the movie was OVER.

There's lots of whitewashed walls lit blue and neon. It's a very eighties movie. Fun soundtrack from a band that has probably been long since forgotten Agent Orange. (This is why I read ALL the credits.)

Best part? He's got a TRAVEL COFFIN! Seriously- it's a light proof black fabric sleeping place that collapses into a suitcase.

The Return of the Vampire

Bela Lugosi playing a vampire. What's not to like?

In Edwardian England, two scientists, Lady Jane Ainsley and Doctor Saunders, investigate an attack and realize it's the work of a vampire, Armand Tesla. They stake the vampire, allow his wolfman slave to return to normal.

Twenty-three years later, Doctor Saunders is killed in a plane crash and his notes on the incident come to the attention of Scotland Yard. Lady Jane has to explain their actions to Sir Frederick, including producing the impaled body of the vampire.

Unfortunately, this is during the Blitz, and the graveyard where they left the body has been bombed- and the graveyard's caretakers remove what they think is a piece of shrapnel, allowing Tesla to come back to life.

Tesla returns to take his revenge on Lady Jane's son, the fiancee of Doctor Saunders' granddaughter.

The Return of the Vampire is Lugosi doing prime menace, but matched by Lady Jane's resourcefulness and determination.

The effects are pretty good for the era, especially the wolfman transformation.

Lady Jane is a pretty good match for Tesla as a female counterpart to Van Helsing.

It's not often I think there should be a sequel to something, but I would have loved to have seen Lady Jane match wits with Tesla again.

We interrupt this broadcast...

We watched Avatar tonight.

That's a lot of movie- two hours and forty-two minutes worth.

I'm sorry, but I just can't watch any more movies.

So, instead, I'm going to watch the Canadian sitcom "Trailer Park Boys" on Netflix.

It's done documentary style and follows two drinking a pot-smoking friends who live in a (yep, you guessed it) trailer park.

It's good for braindead downtime.

Midnight Mass

When I heard that F. Paul Wilson's novel Midnight Mass was a movie, I put it on my short list of must-sees, since I'm a big fan of his novels; heck, I even enjoyed the movie version of his novel The Keep (World War II Romania with Tangering Dream soundtrack!).

Well.

The first few minutes are pretty good, newsclips giving the background for the story- an epidemic has crossed the globe, an outbreak that turns it's victims into vampires. Interviews with doctors and film footage of attacks, they're not too bad- and unless I miss my guess, one of the doctors being interviewed was Wilson himself.

The rest of the movie.... not as impressive. It's like a film school project- it's well done, but not very polished. The acting is passable, but only just.

I know Wilson's not a fan of The Keep, but if you've got to choose between the two, you're better served watching The Keep, even with Michael Man's "It's the 80's" style of direction.

Night Watch

So, having reminded myself what good movies feel like in the wake of Daybreakers, I'm going to try and balance the junk with better stuff, like the Russian horror thriller Night Watch, based on a series of novels by Sergei Lukyanenko.

In Moscow, the forces of Good, represented by the Night Watch, are in conflict with the forces of Evil, the Day Watch. The Day Watch is made up of evil wizards and vampires, while good wizards and shape shifters run the Night Watch.

The vampires are pretty sympathetic as far as bloodsucking creatures of the night are concerned, Kostya foremost among them. He's the son of a butcher, also a vampire- which is where he gets his blood from, lest they run afoul with the Night Watch.

Kostya's neighbor Anton is with the Day Watch and is tasked with bringing in a vampire couple who have decided they want to feed on a child.

Of course, the vampires are just cogs in a bigger picture- The End of the World, of course.

One nice touch is the child is watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, in Russian, of course, specifically the episode where she meets Dracula.

Night Watch is pretty cool- awesome effects, nothing exactly new, but presented in a novel fashion. I'm looking forward to the sequel, Day Watch.

Transylmania

What the fuck kind of trash is this?

Transylmania is supposed to be some kind of... vampire, college student sex comedy.

Six college students from the States are taking a semester abroad to a college in Romania.

It's... oh god, the pain.

The only thing... THE ONLY THING that makes it bearable is the vampire hunter's family name: Van Sloan. It's a nod to Edward Van Sloan who played Van Helsing in the Bela Lugosi Dracula.

That's It.

(I made it 38 minutes into the 96 minute long movie. Now, I have to take a shower because I feel dirty.)

I can appreciate a wast of time as much as anyone but this... it puts the Suck into timesuck.